50 Things I’ve Learned Over The Past 50 Years
Always pay off your credit card in full each month. Late fees and interest are financial tapeworms.
Never underestimate people’s ability to overestimate.
Check out your local library; there’s a lot more there than you think!
Be deeply suspicious of anything with “As Seen On TV!” plastered on the box.
Never count on an inheritance from your family. I have seen enough murder mysteries to know that wills are often changed without warning. The new, extremely young girlfriend, a long lost child, or some beloved family pet always shows up to claim the estate.
Note gas stations with extra long hoses; you will not have to fret over which side the gas tank is on.
Sure, things will “just work out,” but there’s no guarantee that they work out in your favor. At least try to nudge things in the direction you want them to go.
Take a lot of pictures, even if you never look at them.
If you have a skeleton minion in 5th ed D&D, you can attune magic items to them, like Gauntlets of Ogre Power, as long as the skeleton meets the item requirements! Mind blown!
Understanding where someone else is coming from is not the same as agreeing with them, or even supporting them.
Treat front line workers with respect; they have to be nice to people as part of their job, after all, so make it easier for them to do that to you.
Collect hugs from your loved ones like Pokemon cards. Except, you shouldn’t have to pay for them.
Try to be aware of your own biases.
Coding is 10% functionality and 90% optimization.
For those interested in women, remember that just being nice to them does not entitle you to a date, a kiss, a hug – anything. At all. Ever.
Learn what survivorship basis is; once you know it, you see it everywhere.
4 out of 5 stars on an internet review is considered average.
Recall the words of the renown philosopher, Linus van Pelt: “There are three things that I have learned to never discuss with people: religion, politics, and The Great Pumpkin.”
Nobody said life is fair. Likewise, nobody said we can’t try to make it fair.
Buttered toast lands buttered-side down because of the extra weight from the butter.
When you finally settle into your living space, with all your pictures up and the last box unpacked, it will be time to move again.
Never trust corporations. They can make great products and services for us, but they will gladly give us cancer, let our cars explode, or gamble away our life savings if they think it’ll improve their bottom lines.
My wife is a savant at the Dominion: Sealands expansion set. Seriously – I think I have won maybe 2 out of 316 games against her.
A slick video on YouTube, TikTok, etc. has nothing to do with its veracity.
Sometimes, the bad guys win.
Elena of Avalor is in the same television universe as Sophia the First – seriously!
This old family photo, artist unknown, is the most perfectly framed image in the history of human art.
Likewise, the 1991 episode of “How Does Your Garden Grow?” from the series Poirot was surprisingly prescient about a popular acronym.
The ability to design a door properly is what separates the wheat from the chaff.
Any Kickstarter project that promises an MMO is a disaster waiting to happen.
Macaques do not make good pets.
A lot of “news” is just conflict or speculation.
Inertia applies to careers, as well – be successful for long enough, and you can make horrifically bad decisions repeatedly and people will still constantly give you the benefit of the doubt.
When cooking, almost always add some garlic and onion.
Try to save enough so that you can live “normally” for at least a year should you suddenly be unemployed.
Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, select, start. If you know, you know.
The more accessible something is, the less secure it is, and vice versa.
People can fall in love, but nobody talks about how people can also fall out of love.
Do not, under any circumstances, wear your glasses to a rec league basketball game. You are begging to get smashed in the face with the ball.
Make sure you know the difference between green peppers and green beans. Preferably before you eat one whole.
Please don’t inform your opinion on something just from headlines.
As much as I love Shadow of the Colossus, Ico is the better game in terms of translating narrative into gameplay. Come at me.
A lot of people who are in the top 5% income bracket in America still seem to think that they are middle class.
Sorry dad, but Napoleon, while short by today’s standards, really was average height for France at the time.
A proper cup of coffee is made in a proper copper coffee pot.
You remember the losses way more than the wins.
Knowing that the sun never really sets does not take away from its beauty.
Don’t follow people on social media who just dunk on others or spread drama; follow people that are doing creative and interesting things.
The people who say that they have no regrets are often the same ones that never learn from their mistakes.
Remember that your self-worth is not determined by the validation of others.
Fantastic list! I may have to "borrow" this idea as I'm in a rut but do want to get active on here again