Movie Review: Invitation to a Murder
May and I watched this film last night, and I was actually so inspired afterward that I wrote an Amazon review for it. What follows is an expanded and updated version, now with spoilers!
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I watched this with my wife -- both of us love mystery shows and movies, esp. the Poirot series -- and we agreed that this was... bad. Not bad in that we regretted watching it, or bad as in I wanted to stand up and leave the theater (or in this case, our TV room), but bad in that fascinating way where we were laughing at a lot of moments that were meant to be serious, I could clearly see the seams between each scene, and I was starting to come up with excuses as to why they were making certain choices, because those decisions sure weren’t meant to make the movie better.
Honestly, with just a few tweaks, I think that they could have turned this into a classic satire comedy. But no, it's played straight down the middle, much to its detriment.
Where to start?
Okay, so, here is the rundown (and I am going to refrain from commentary for now):
Sometime in the 1940s or thereabouts, Miranda Green, a British florist who loves Agatha Christie stories, is invited along with 5 other people to the reclusive island of a ultra-rich industrialist Lord Finely for a weekend retreat where the rich guy plans to speak to them about some important news. Among the group are a gritty American reporter (Donald Walker), a naive doctor (Phillip Armstrong), a quiet woman from China (Lu Wang), a young woman from Spain (Carmen Blanco), and a British barrister (Lawrence Kane).
From the start, Miranda is shown to be a brilliant amateur detective; like Sherlock Holmes, she catches all of the details that everyone else misses. On the train ride over, she notices a strange aspect with the seal of the envelope – the design of it seems to imply that only five people should have been invited, and not six.
They take the boat over to the island, where they meet the Valet (Gordon), Butler (Sean), and maid (Catherine). Alas, Lord Finley’s plane has been grounded by fog so he will not be arriving until tomorrow.
The group spends the evening having drinks and getting to know each other. By now it is clear that Phillip and Carmen are attracted to each other, while Donald is an acerbic but honest man. They retire for the night; there is a blackout, which appears to have been caused by the main power switch being thrown, but the guests are assured that it was “just an animal” and nobody else is on the island.
The next morning Miranda and Donald take a walk and come across a small shack with six rabbits caged. There is a number above each one, but number six is crossed out. Phillip and Carmen continue their flirting and kiss.
During lunch, the group is told that Lord Finley will not be there until tomorrow, to which Donald angrily smashes a glass on the floor.
Later that day, the body of Lawrence is found outside, apparently stabbed with a katar. Miranda runs back to the rabbit shack, only to find that the cage of the sixth rabbit is empty, the number six has been erased, and now the number five is crossed out.
Back at the mansion, the group discusses what happened. They then find that the body of Lawrence is gone. There are accusations, but the group then splits up. Miranda discovers a secret room, and then Sean is shown attacked. They later find his body, strangled with the scarf of Lu.
Miranda then reveals that she has discovered that Sean is, in fact, Lord Finely, and that Gordon and Catherine are just actors playing the part of servants.
Furthermore, Lawrence was not actually killed, but faked his own death. He reappears and explains to the group that they are all actually Lord Finely’s illegitimate children (at this point Phillip and Carmen stop holding hands), and this whole weekend was for him to test them and see who would be worthy of his fortune. One would get everything, and everyone else would get nothing. Gordon and Catherine attempt to flee but are caught, and explain that they just panicked.
That night, Gordon visits Miranda and says he can show her something that might help find the killer.
In the morning, a detective from Scotland Yard is there, apparently fetched earlier by Gordon at the request of Miranda. It is then revealed that Lord Finley had secret video cameras installed in all of their rooms and was recording all their movements. Donald is seen on camera with Lu’s scarf and then leaving the room.
Donald admits to killing Lord Finely, Lawerence explains that because of the will, none of them will get anything, but the group state that they at least have a bunch of new siblings.
The film ends with them getting back on the boat and Miranda deciding to start her own detective business.
Okay. Now, the fun stuff.
So, it's blatantly obvious that they really wanted the Agatha Christie vibe: in particular “And Then There Were None,” complete with an isolated island, mysterious summons, and a group of apparent strangers gathered together. But what could have been a great tale of bubbling intrigue and roiling revelations is instead a tepid collection of dull monologues and ridiculous moments.
For one thing, the main character is, to use a proper British term, "frightfully dull." She is always right, notices everything, and never shows any emotion other than curiosity, bemusement, or thoughtful reflection. The grandfather clock has more personality than her, and it's only there for a few scenes. She has no moments where she is caught-off guard, or alarmed, or any type of real conflict; we just watch as she is constantly right. Almost like it is a good ol’ self-insertion fanfic.
Even her deductions come off as cheap. The joy in a great mystery is when the viewer/reader sees all the same clues that the detective does, so you can follow along, and if not guess what is happening, at least think back to all the weird moments and suddenly realize how they all fit together. That is what Agatha Christie was so great at and what this film is sorely lacking.
But when Miranda catches the people in the lies during the game, it's not because we saw the same clues as her, but just because she makes these insanely huge leaps of logic. “Oh, that’s a lie because if your father owned a restaurant you would be able to afford at least a nice handbag or a coat.” …what? Maybe the restaurant is having hard times, maybe the father does not share the wealth, maybe the woman has those items for sentimental reasons, etc.
Or how about the next one: “You don’t know your father because your shoes are not properly polished...” …the hell? Okay, she also then mentions that the guy skipped over the father when talking about his family, but that’s more common for people that actually know and hate their father. I can only assume that her logic is that shoe-polishing is a time-honored rite of passage only passed down between father and son? I guess?
And she cuts into their lies instantly. Like, there isn’t a second of hesitation. This is no doubt supposed to show how utterly otherworldly brilliant she is, but dear lord does it come off as just sloppy writing.
And this backfires like the car in “Uncle Buck” because later on when confronted with the “dead” body of Lawrence, she doesn’t realize he is still alive? What? Seriously? This should have been blinking in neon: "THIS IS NOT REAL." Like, I would have expected her to be, “Oh, he is clearly alive because the blood splatter behind him is far more than the knife wound would have generated.” Or, “He is alive because there are no fibers from his clothes on the blade.” Or even “He is still alive because when I kick him in the groin he howls like a beluga whale.” But no, we have to keep the plot moving, so in this case, she is completely clueless.
And that’s another albatross around this film’s neck. It knows what scenes are supposed to be in a murder mystery, but has no clue (heh) about why they should be there or how to tie them together. That weirdness with the seal in the beginning? Never brought up again. The bit with the rabbits? Oh, that was explained away as a hilarious coincidence because the rabbits were meant as meat for the dog. Yes, that’s right. When they feed the dog (an entire rabbit no less) they cross out the number of the next rabbit to be slaughtered, then afterwards erasing the number altogether. These are some really bizarre bookkeeping practices. I have to wonder: after crossing out the number of the next rabbit to be served up, do they lean over to the small mammal and cackle, “Your next!”
The overall plot is what I have heard described as “An idiot plot,” in that the people have to occasionally act like idiots to keep the plot moving forward. Miranda has to suddenly “turn mortal” and not realize Lawrence is faking his death. The DOCTOR in the mansion never examines Lawrence’s body to determine what killed him, preventing him from also discovering the ruse. In the very beginning, Miranda gets the invitation and notes that there is no return trip enclosed but decides to go anyway. Everyone constantly listens to and obeys Miranda even though, to them, she is just some random stranger they met that weekend. Even the cop from Scotland Yard is there just as hired muscle, flashing his revolver like he’s on a catwalk for Winchester, and lets Miranda do all the talking.
Things are not helped by the direction, either. This may be due to budgets, but the shots are often static and locked-down. Often characters will just stand there in a shot/reverse shot set-up and just trade dialogue for a while. No interesting or creative camera work, or editing, or lighting.
One of the first red flags that went up was something May pointed out: the opening scene at the bookstore and the scene which happens there a day later were probably shot on the same day. And yeah, this kind of stuff happens all the time in films, but you usually are not able to so blatantly realize it.
During the walk between Miranda and Donald, they just come to a halt and just talk back and forth for several minutes. The majority of this is just shot/reverse shot framing, and I honestly started to wonder if George Lucas had secretly snuck in to start directing.
And then, they get out of that scene because Miranda “suddenly” notices what turns out to be the shack with the rabbits, but for some inane reason, it piques her interest so much that she is compelled to cut off the conversation so she can go investigate. First of all, she just noticed the shack then? I’m pretty sure it was sitting there for the whole time, unless it was stalking them and she spotted it before it could pounce. And secondly, what was so interesting that she felt compelled to run over to it? Are shacks in the woods so rare that she had never seen one in the wild?
At the end, Donald goes into like a 5 minute monologue explaining all of the backstory and details, not because it's what the character would normally do or it makes narrative sense, but because the writers were trying to wrap up as much as they could. I’m surprised he didn’t just hold a Q&A.
Last of all, even the answer to the mystery is pretty disappointing, because Miranda IS FLAT OUT TOLD WHO THE KILLER IS. She doesn't use her own deductive reasoning or set a clever trap. Instead, literally, she is woken in the middle of the night so Gordon can say, "Hey, come check out this VIDEO FOOTAGE of Donald leaving his room with the scarf. Sure, I could have told everyone this right after the murder, but we still had 45 minutes of runtime back then."
Anyway, there were some intentionally funny lines that I laughed at, and I did like the portrayal of Gordon and Donald overall, but this movie was really just sad. Sad because there was potential here. The idea of them all being the kids of the guy could have led to some really dramatic moments. The big reveal could have been built up better over time, and the characters could have had more time given to their characters. Give Miranda some real conflict to overcome. Give the audience the chance to follow along with her as she slowly uncovers more clues to their purpose at the mansion and the mysterious Lord Finley.
And someone give me that grandfather clock in the study. We can all use a secret passage entrance like that.