Snow Kidding!
Shoveling snow is a lot like brushing your teeth. The most obvious similarity is, of course, that where I live, you only have to do it once or twice a year.
Beyond that, though, there are other aspects of common ground:
You can do it by hand, or through mechanical means.
People can tell if you haven’t done it.
People are more than willing to inform you that they can tell that you haven’t done it, and that you really, really should.
You can do it yourself, or have someone else do it for you (although I admit that in the case of brushing your teeth that would likely be limited to Prince Akeem Joffer, a child having their parents do it for them, dentist patients getting lectured about the proper way to brush, or someone with a very particular preference in their romantic partner).
All of these thoughts (and more!) were running through my mind as I was shoveling us out from one of the rare snowstorms to hit us since we moved here. For the past four or five winters, we would get maybe 2-3 inches once a year, but then within a few days the temperature would rise and rain would come and melt everything away like my hopes of actually eventually climbing out of Gold rank in Overwatch.
But this time? Oh, Mr. Snow Miser was just having his own little personal Ice Capades out on our front lawn.
It was a couple of weeks ago that we got hit with about 6-8 inches, and I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t happy, at least in some way, to see it. I like some contrasts throughout my year, and some snowy days are fun, at least once the clean up is finished.
Given the depth of the snow, I pulled out my ol’ trusty electric snowblower. This puppy had been used a few times in the early years, but since then, it really has only seen use as an emergency sawhorse or maybe a garage landmark used for directional aid: “Yeah, check for that thing over by the snowblower. It’s blue, you can’t miss it.”
Being an electric, esp. an earlier model, it doesn’t have the same horsepower as your typical gas version, but it also doesn’t stink of gasoline, which alone made it more than a worthy tradeoff for me. As an earlier model, it also doesn’t use batteries; it’s a direct plug-in. So I had to move around with an extension cord approximately 32 nautical miles long plugged into it leading back into the garage, constantly keeping it looped around behind me so it didn’t get run over or catch around my legs.
And, because it was brisk 2 degrees out, the cord was getting stiff and inflexible, very similar to the strict rules and regulations at the Port Jefferson parks.
And, and, even though I was able to get the driveway cleared out (including that dreaded spot where it meets the road and the town snowplow just merrily dumps a small snow landmass the size of Rhode Island right in front of you so you have to spend an extra 51 manhours of labor to clear it even though it is technically on the town street and should be cleared by the town and I should really channel my Grandma Dean energy and write them a strongly worded letter but anyway), I still needed to clear pathways around the house:
The back door
The path from the driveway to the house
The front steps
The front door
The mailbox
The trash and garbage cans
My wife’s front porch birdbath (which, to be fair, was well worth it as she was able to easily keep the water filled and thus allowing us to score some lovely views of Mr. Cardinal as we violated his privacy while he tried to enjoy some non-frozen refreshments).
Oh! Oh! And, I needed to clear off the cars as well, of course. Which I did. But not with the snowbrush, as the snow was too deep to easily use that tool. No, it was of course… guess!
..uhm, no. I did not use the snowblower to clear off the cars. Why would you even think that?
No, I just used my layered up arms, and hands, sweeping the snow off the roofs, hoods, and windows like my enemies in a rousing game of Risk Legacy.
May was so impressed at my innovation that she only slightly scolded me for not using the ice scraper on the car windows so I could have, you know, scraped the ice off rather than leave it there. Hey! In my defense, by that point, well, …my brain was freezing.
It has now been almost two weeks, and the snow is still there. This has been one of those very rare times when we had a heavy snow followed by over ten days of sub-freezing weather, so the snow has just been, well, chillin’, so to speak. We had like a half-inch since then, and this week is looking to continue the sub-freezing days for the first half, at least, so we might not see much in the way of changes until Friday, or the weekend.
In the meantime, Gracie will continue to enjoy walking over the snow to see if the semi-iced top can support her weight, and May will continue to enjoy the birds flocking to her birdfeeders as a reliable food source and showing us all the delicate beauty of nature as the birds viciously attack each other to get first dibs on the food like it’s a WWE Smackdown.
And I will continue to enjoy the fact that we can still get those bright sunny days with a clear blue sky and a pristine blanket of snow over an open field. Especially when I don’t have to shovel anything to enjoy it.