So, How Was Your Christmas?
Let’s rewind a few weeks, shall we?
For many, Christmas brings forth images of multicolored Christmas lights adorning the gutters of snow-covered suburban homes. For others, visions of sugarplums or candied yams or whatever those weird holiday foods are shall appear. For me, though, the thought of Christmas brings forth the memories of waking up at ungodly early hours and crawling into my dad’s old Ford for the jaunt along I-80 from Cleveland to Milwaukee.
I mean that in a good way, of course.
Hence, it swells my chest with pride to inflict– er, to instill those same memories into my own family. Although for us, instead of an 8 hour drive through the crop fields and highway overpasses of the midwest, it is a 45 minute jaunt through semi-congested early morning traffic to the airport, whereupon we hop on board the legendary flying machines of JetBlue. But, the end destination, Milwaukee, remains the same.
This past Christmas trip, we maintained the early rising time of 4:30 AM, got a lift from my wife’s friend, and after my favorite type of airline trip (boring and uneventful), arrived at Milwaukee. My parents were on hand to pick us up, and given that it was only around noon, this meant that we had plenty of time to go right from the airport to pay our respects at Usinger's Famous Sausage in downtown Milwaukee.
Their hot dogs and beef sticks are always a favorite among the family, and are a couple of the very rare foodstuffs that we cannot find in New York City. After loading up on some choice meat products, we next hit up the should-be world-famous Milwaukee Public Market for fresh sandwiches, chocolates, and baked goods. This wasn’t just a self-indulgent moment to gorge myself on some of the finest caloric content Wisconsin had to offer, but also to stock up on various delectables for the rest of the visit. We only get to the Public Market once a year, if that, so I wanted to be sure I had no regrets upon our departure.
Like most family trips, we spent a lot of time with, well, the family. And it was great! The Christmas party was the usual crowd of 50-60 people, where the only things that go faster than the appetizers are the squad of small kids running around. My parents still have not implemented my suggestion of passing out nametags to everyone, but regardless, we still had the three Gs for a successful party: good food, good cheer, and good company.
I was saddened that there was no snow on the ground for playing outside, but we made do in several ways. My mom joined my wife, my daughter, and I for some red-hot white-knuckle Mario Kart action; given that my nephew was not playing, I was able to drift my way to an easy victory. My cousins stopped by for a board game night, which is becoming its own little annual tradition at this point; we tried a cooperative game called Mysterium, and while the first try was an abysmal failure, the second go-around gave us a complete victory. And lastly, my wife and I discreetly took advantage of my mom’s BritBox subscription to finally watch the last few episodes from the Morse series.
However, to be honest, the big excitement for me on this trip was to finally visit the fan favorite Safehouse, a bar/pub located in downtown Milwaukee. I have heard of this place since the mid 90s, back when they were advertising in the GenCon program guide, but I never made an effort to go visit it. Recently, however, I was speaking with some friends, and I realized that I knew a number of people who never lived in Milwaukee that have been there. As someone who has lived there for many years (mainly vacations and holidays, but still), I felt that I owed it to myself to mark this off my bucket list.
My sister took me, my wife, and my daughter in for the visit. And I can say that it was as a trip well worth making. The first thing that I appreciated is that there is no sign outside – the huge 007 gun barrel mural might give you a clue something is up, but the entrance is a simple red door, and the sign by it makes it look like it is a distribution business. Now, thanks to things like Google Maps, you can be sure you are at the right place, but back in the 90s, you really had to know where to even find the place.
You don’t even get in right away – you have to give a password to their version of Moneypenny, or do an “entrance exam” like dancing or push-ups or whatever Moneypenny decides. Once actually in, it’s well-themed. There are a number of little twists and turns, making me think that the place was originally actually a series of smaller shops that were gradually acquired and then they just knocked the walls out, putting in a few steps here and there to connect everything.
While it’s a bar, during the day they are well-equipped to handle families. My daughter got a little list of hidden things to find throughout the place, there were false doors and buttons to press, and even one of the bartenders was performing magic tricks. The food was fine, but let’s be honest – you aren’t coming here for the food, anyway. They could probably just serve chips and veggies trays and it would still be an awesome time.
Of course, the coolest thing is the secret exit. I won’t say anything here aside from just ask your server that you want to take the secret way out, and see what lies in store.
We had a full week in Wisconsin, but it seemed like the days just flew by; the unfortunate by-product of having too much fun, I guess. Before we knew it, we were packing up our things, giving our goodbye hugs, and were back on our way to our home.
One last thing, though, about the trip:
A personal treat for me on these Christmas trips is that I get to watch a Packers game with my mom. It always reinforces my belief that the NFL is missing out on a fantastic color commentator for their broadcasts. Just imagine the following during a game:
AL MICHAELS: And the Vikings caught the pass over the 40 and are running down the sideline!
MY MOM: Oh! Oh! Get him! Get him! Tackle him! C’mon, you dip!”
AL MICHAELS: The Packers manage to get him down at the 50, but the receiver wants a call for a late hit.
MY MOM: Ha! He was looking for a flag and he’s not gonna get one! Haha!
As you can see, she always provides valuable insight and non-biased commentary that greatly enriches the viewing experience.
Seriously, Roger Goodell, get on this.